Watching the Hogan family is like having a Jerry Springer episode every week. I don’t need one everyday, but once a week is fantastic. As always, I predicate every Hogan story with the hope they all end up bankrupt because they had to pay John Graziano every penny they have.

In this week’s edition, Linda fought back against the claims made by her hairstylist last week that Linda uses most of her alimony for drugs. The interesting thing is the fighting back didn’t say anything about Linda and her alleged drug use. Nope. It all was about the fact that Hulk possibly paid off the hairstylist for her testimony. How did she get paid? You are going to love this. Hulk paid the hairstylist $3500 with a check made out to the hair stylist’s sister. The check was alleged to be a payoff AND hair extensions for Hulk’s girlfriend AND Hulk. He needs to get his money back because it looks awful.

Hulk’s people denied it was a payoff and said it was only for the hair extensions. Hulk gets hair extensions? Have you ever seen worse extensions in your life?

Brooke weighed in as well. On Tuesday she was on Bubba The Love Sponge and actually didn’t talk about pole dancing for daddy or her new moves they worked on, but rather how horrible her mother is.

“We were only close (before) because I didn’t know any different … I think this person she is was always there. It’s a psychological thing, it comes down to she didn’t have a settled home life growing up … deep down inside she’s still not happy,” Brooke said before breaking down in tears. “She has bitten the hand that fed her. It hurts so bad because she doesn’t know me. She doesn’t know how fun I am, my favorite color, my best friends or what my house looks like. She doesn’t know any of that.”

Umm. Brooke. Did you get a new favorite color and best friend in the last six months? Were you not fun your whole life until six months ago? This whole family is beyond any kind of rationality. The only thing that sucks about all this is that I fear the couple is going to burn through every penny they have on legal fees related to their divorce and John Graziano isn’t going to have anything left for him. That is the real shame in all of this.

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• Brooke Hogan Is Furious Over Dads Fling
• Could the Hulk Hogan divorce be one, big ugly ruse?

Brooke Hogan celebrated her 21st birthday at Pure Nightclub in Vegas. Basically, the promoters at Pure just couldn’t seem to get Carrot Top to come in and do a celebrity appearance so Brooke Hogan came in. She’s was on call for D-List Monday nights, thank god she answered her phone. Hulkamania was there. As were his daughters boobs, which were hanging out and loitering all over the joint. Just talking about it makes me totally uncomfortable. Remember the time Hulk rubbed lotion on Brooke’s thys? Yuck! More incest drive photos below.

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• Brooke Hogan Please Stop
• Brooke Hogan Bikini Pictures

The courts have denied a request made by Linda Hogan’s boyfriend, who was seeking a restraining order against Linda’s estranged husband, Hulk Hogan, Access Hollywood has learned.

In court papers obtained by Access, Charley Hill, 20, claims Hulk (whose real name is Terry Bollea) has been following and threatening him.

However, the court denied Hill’s request.

Following the court’s ruling, David Houston, an attorney for Hulk, released the following statement to Access:

“This is just another blatant attempt by Linda Hogan to try to defame Hulk Hogan’s character. We commend the judge on seeing through this ridiculous stunt and denying these baseless claims.”

Linda, 49, filed for divorce from Hulk, 55, in November 2007 after 24 years of marriage.

Back in August, Hulk sat down with Access Hollywood’s Maria Menounos to open up on his split from his wife.

“As crazy as that sounds to say, I wish I was still with my wife,” Hulk told Maria.

“There have been rumors that maybe this divorce was a ploy to protect your assets,” Maria said.

“If this is a ploy, her being intimate with a 19-year-old kid is pretty good acting,” Hulk added. “For me to be able to handle… my 50-year-old wife sleeping in a bed with a 19-year-old boyfriend and using my gym, and driving my cars, and living in my house. I guess we’ve got a pretty good act going on ’cause that’s a lot to take on.”

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• Hulk Hogan Talks Divorce: ‘I Wish I Was Still With My Wife’
• Shenanigans claimed in Hulk Hogan divorce

Sometimes I think about writing about someone, but then as I ponder the idea in my head the only ever place I see it going is straight to the gutter. I try and keep things family friendly. OK, a family that consists primarily of teenagers and above, but I do try. So, when I read Brooke Hogan’s celebrity page on MySpace, I had an idea, but all I could think of was making a joke about how she wanted Nick home from jail because Daddy wasn’t rubbing oil in the right place anymore. I know, I know. And yes, I do read those celebrity pages just so you don’t have to. Brooke’s this time actually sounded it was written with someone with an education so obviously she didn’t do it.Her whole blog is about her Nicky coming home early and how he is like her best friend. Not actually her best friend, but kind of like her best friend. Umm, he’s your brother. Just say, he is my brother and I have missed him. The whole best friends thing then starts wondering if it is a friends with benefits thing and again, we start slowly sliding down that slope to the gutter.

I will say one thing about what she wrote. At least she didn’t try and hide the negative stuff.

“There have been a lot of supporters and a lot of haters that have come up to me and said things that have helped and things that made me feel like I couldn’t make it through another day… Some people wish terrible, terrible things on us and say the most nasty comments that I can’t even repeat on here… It really hurts.

“I understand people have their own opinion, but most of the people that come up to us don’t know the whole story or how much we really, really love John. It’s really sad because we’re not bad people. We’re just going through a really hard time, and so is John’s family.”

The part above is the part that seems like someone with a brain wrote it, but I will say that at least she didn’t try and pretend that no one has said anything bad to her. I hate when celebrities say that everyone is on their side. No, they aren’t and she admits it, so she gets some kudos for that. And, she is also right that we don’t know the whole story, but what I at least have seen and heard from her family does not indicate to me any kind of love for John or his family at all, and so I don’t blame anyone for laying into Brooke.

Finally, Brooke decided to do my least favorite thing. She is going to cook for Nicky. Yep, she said the c word. Apparently Nick has only been getting beef and potatoes in jail so she is going to fix him something special. Mac & Cheese. I kid you not. Yeah, I want Mac & Cheese out of a box cooked by my annoying sister after spending 8 months in jail. What he should do is go spend about the next two weeks sitting next to John, but I bet he doesn’t even go visit unless someone makes him.

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• Hogan claims brother’s trial was based on lies
• Hulk Hogan Reveals Sons Greatest Lesson Learned in Prison

Apparently Brooke Hogan decided that she has a chance at a career. Well, at least her agent must be really good to convince her of that. For some reason which was probably the amount of money being offered, Brooke Hogan turned down the opportunity to pose nude in Playboy thus depriving millions of tranny fans from seeing their hero in the buff. Her publicist said, “Brooke just didn’t feel that it was the right time. It’s not out of the question for the future, but we’ll have to see.”What that PR mumbo jumbo translates to is that Brooke wanted more than $39.64 to take her clothes off. Hell, she spends more than that each day on self-tanner, and besides, she’s daddy’s little girl, and he doesn’t like sharing. I think that holding out for more money is probably not her best option. She is at the peak of her fifteen minutes right now and there really is no place for her to go but down. What does she think she is going to do for the next 20 years or so? Does she really think she is going to be an actress or singer? Does she think she can milk 20 years of reality programming out of her life? No one gives a crap about her or Playboy would have offered her more money. Hell, Playboy makes offers to people everyday which are routinely turned down. You just don’t hear about them because those celebrities are not desperate enough for publicity that they have to make a statement to that effect.

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• Brooke Hogan Please Stop
• Brooke Hogan Bikini Pictures

I appreciate all of you sending me e-mails and notes that Nick Hogan is getting out of jail early. How early? About three months early. In just about three weeks from now on October 21st, Nick will be done serving his sentence. John Graziano still can’t do anything for himself. You may think I would take this opportunity to snark, but I’m not. Nick is in the justice system and they have rules and he behaved so he gets out early.

I actually think Nick will be good for a couple of weeks when he gets out, but then he will do something stupid and I will be right here, ready to trash him some more. But, I do want to emphasize that Nick is young, and was young when this happened. Was he conceited? Absolutely. A jerk? Yep. But the fact is he was just 17 and I would gather lots of us did idiotic things when we were 17, some of which may have got someone killed or injured but we just happened to get lucky. If we were 17 and the child of a celebrity and used to getting our own way, we might have been a-holes as well.

The reason I have been so angry throughout this entire process is because of the way the Hogan family acted, and how they put all the blame on John and that Nick could do no wrong. I just thought the attitude from the entire Hogan clan was despicable. That was my beef with the whole thing. It still is. The sentence is what it is and the kid will have served his time. Lets see if he learned anything from it or if he goes back to the same boorish behavior. He better know that we will all be watching.

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• Nick Hogan Not Fighting Charges
• I wonder how many people wish Nick Hogan had been the passenger?

Brooke Hogan put on her bikini and went swimming with gay roommate and Brooke Knows Best co-star Glenn Packard. Looks to me as if Brooke is trying to convert a gay, if you ask me. Maybe with her broad shoulders and hard cheekbones, looms such possibilities. Anyways, at least she has good skin and her trap is seemingly shut?

More Brooke Hogan bikini pictures.

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• Brooke Hogan Bikini Pictures
• Brooke Hogan rocks out in her bikini.

Seriously that picture of Brooke Hogan has caption me writted all over it.

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• Brooke Hogan Please Stop
• Brooke Hogan Bikini Pictures

Hulk Hogan wraps up Season 2 of NBC’s “American Gladiators” on Monday night — a show which has been a bright spot in Hulk’s otherwise chaotic personal life.

His 24-year marriage to wife Linda is headed for divorce, but now, in a new interview with Access Hollywood’s Maria Menounos, Hulk shows signs of regrets.

“As crazy as that sounds to say, I wish I was still with my wife,” Hulk told Maria.

The stunning admission comes after everything he and his estranged wife, Linda, have been through — and one that could intensify certain speculation.

“There have been rumors that maybe this divorce was a ploy to protect your assets,” Maria said.

“If this is a ploy, her being intimate with a 19-year-old kid is pretty good acting,” Hulk said.

Several have suggested that the Hogans split up to protect their money (Hulk is worth ten of millions of dollars) after they were sued by the family of the boy permanently injured in 18-year-old Nick Hogan’s car wreck.

Hulk squashes that speculation, citing in particular, his pain over Linda, now dating a 19-year-old, who Hulk claims lives in the home the Hogan family once shared.

“For me to be able to handle… my 50-year-old wife sleeping in a bed with a 19-year-old boyfriend and using my gym, and driving my cars, and living in my house. I guess we’ve got a pretty good act going on ‘cause that’s a lot to take on,” Hulk said.

Hulk claims the divorce was 100 percent Linda’s idea.

“It wasn’t an argument, it was, ‘Hey, I don’t love you, I don’t want to be with you, I don’t want to see you anymore.’ It was the real deal,” Hulk said.

“Just out of the blue?” Maria asked.

“Yeah, well you know, we’d had problems over the last ten years but you know, I thought that when you put your hand on the Bible, you know until death do us part and for better or worse, I thought people really meant that when they said it,” he admitted.

And things have turned ugly, with negotiations stretching on.

“This is a simple divorce – there’s no custody, there’s just a big pile of junk that we’ve accumulated. We should split it however the judge wants it and walk away, but you know, my wife’s lawyer has told different magazines there’s gonna be a war,” he said. “This is the money that I saved for my family, and money that Linda could walk away with, money that I saved for my children, that they’re just, they’re just wasting [it] and burning [it] up.”

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• Linda Hogans Boyfriend Denied Restraining Order Against Hulk
• Linda Bollea Hulk Hogans wife files for divorce

What person over the age of 10 hangs in a tree in a bathing suit?

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• Brooke Hogan Bikini Pictures
• Brooke Hogan Please Stop

Looks like Brooke forgot to put on her costume. She is performing in a pair of panties. Is this a concert or a strip club show? This girl wreaks of skank. I hope her show bombs.

On an aside, I heard Brooke was considering an offer to pose in Playboy. Not sure if it is true but it would be interesting to see her behemoth ass in the buff. The best part about her bod is probably the plastic bags under her breasts.

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• Brooke Hogan Please Stop
• Brooke Hogan It Would Have Been Hard To Tuck It Under

Glenn Douglas Packard, Hogan’s co-star and roommate on VH1 show “Brooke Knows Best,” startled event planners at Miami club Mansion Saturday night when, said one onlooker, he “threw a childlike tantrum” and “tried to get 300 people into a 50-person party.” The source said that when he was given wristbands for his friends, Packard screamed at the ladies working the door, “It’s not my job to wristband my guests, it’s yours!” Thankfully, Hogan was “lovely.”

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• Christina Aguilera: “Inspired” to Record After Having Baby
• All is forgiven; McCain returning to Letterman

 

I can’t believe Brooke is only 20. She could definitely pass for 30. Rumor has it that Hulk was on the scene while this photoshoot was taking place. He had to ensure the photos were “acceptable”. Probably wanted to make sure Brooke was showing enough tit and ass to keep people interested in her since that seems to be her only selling point.

I have to admit, Brooke looks hot in this shoot. I have never particularly found large women to be sexy but I think if you scaled her down to normal size, she would be beautiful. Towering over many men at 5′11″, wearing a size 12 shoe, she is definitely not petite.

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• Brooke Hogan Please Stop
• Brooke Hogan Bikini Pictures

When last we left the Hogan family (though can we leave them if they won’t go away?), parents Hulk and Linda had split up, and it wasn’t pretty. Daughter Brooke accused the Hulkster of piledriving one of her friends, while cougar Linda fell into the arms of the 19-year-old pool boy. What’s next for an estranged, straw-haired couple bored of screwing their children’s dopplegangers? Elaborate, imaginary crimes:

Brooke Hogan is fightin’ mad after her mother, Linda, accused estranged hubby Terry (Hulk) Hogan of violating a restraining order and stalking her. Linda recently told police that as she was leaving her house, she saw Hulk driving toward it and called 911.

“I know for a fact that the accusations made against my father are completely false,” said Brooke. She’s right: Miami cops found no evidence of a restraining order.

Well, there’s that. Still, what kind of country have we become where you can no longer persecute people for violating imaginary restraining orders? Is celebrity jurisprudence now so out of hand that the mere idea of a legally binding document — issued, no doubt, by Snuffleupagus himself — is somehow found lacking? Pity poor Linda Hogan, undone by a judicial loophole despite a powerhouse team of lawyers led by Phoenix Wwright. If they can’t beat the (imaginary) system, what hope have we?

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• Linda Hogans Boyfriend Denied Restraining Order Against Hulk
• Shenanigans claimed in Hulk Hogan divorce

Nick Bollea’s Car Crash

New sad home videos of WWE superstar Hulk Hogan’s jailed son Nick Bollea’s car crash victim have been made public in effort to show the teen the seriousness of his friend’s condition. Bollea, 17, is currently serving an eight-month prison sentence at Florida’s Pinellas County Jail, after pleading no contest to a felony of reckless driving following a horrific car crash in Clearwater, Florida, which left his best friend John Graziano brain damaged for life. On the released tapes, aired by CNN’s Nancy Grace yesterday, 23-year-old Graziano is shown from his hospital bed, his injuries pixilated due to their severity. Grace comments as the video rolls, revealing Graziano’s day-to-day life: “I’ve been on a lot of crash wards and rehab centres to meet with victims and even now this is how wrenching it is to see what he is going through.” Graziano’s parents spoke out last May, furious at Bollea’s lack of remorse, after hearing him discuss plans to win an early release from jail in taped telephone conversations that were leaked online. The family also blasted the Bolleas for trying to cash in on their grief, by turning Nick’s prison stint into a money making television reality show.

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• Hulk Hogan sued by family of Florida crash victim
• HULK HOGANS SON LUBES UP FOR JAIL