Did I miss something along the way in the history of sexuality. In the latest edition of Harpers Bazaar, Lindsay Lohan says she isn’t a lesbian and when she was asked if she is bisexual, she said “Maybe. Yeah.” Umm, Lindsay. You do know that you are dating and “madly in love” with a lesbian right? Somehow I think Samantha Ronson is pretty sure of what she is and I don’t think she is quite as wishy washy as you. I guess this of course is the guy mind at work here thinking that you need to have sex as part of a relationship. Obviously that isn’t true and I can see that two people can be in love and dating and want to be with each other even if they don’t want to consummate it. Doesn’t sound like much fun to me, but to each their own.

You would think it would cause problems for at least Samantha who presumably would like to get a little action. I’m sure Lindsay if she really has no interest in women is perfectly happy with things the way they are, but again, in my guy mind, I would think that at some point Samantha would lose patience. But then again, you can’t force someone to become gay so maybe she is just happy being in a loving relationship, asexual as it may be.

This one confuses me and in no small part simply because I feel out of my league discussing any kind of relationships that are beyond my basic skill set. I understand gay and straight. I even understand Paris Hilton and Benji Madden to some extent, but the Lindsay Lohan Samantha Ronson relationship is just beyond my depth. Would someone like to help explain it all to me.

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• LINDSAY LOHAN KEEPS ON LICKING
• Lindsay Lohan opens up, but closes up

For a girl often accused of growing up too fast, 14-year-old Ali Lohan isn’t shy about setting her sights on her first car and learning how to drive.

“I’m so excited (about turning 16),” Lohan told Life & Style. “I always ask my mom, ‘Can I drive your car in the parking lot?’ And she’s like, ‘No.’

Lohan has another two years before she’ll be able to get a learner’s permit, but she told the magazine she’s got her first car picked out. “I want a BMW truck!”

She might be planning on chipping in for gas money though — Lohan recently filed paperwork in L.A. County Superior Court for a work permit to allow her to record with Maloof Music producers.

The Maloof family owns the Palms Casino in Las Vegas, which was often the setting for Ali and her mom Dina’s reality show “Living Lohan,” which also happened to be a Maloof production.

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• Music Manager Johnny Wright Slams The Lohans!
• DINA LOHAN SAYS LINDSAY WILL STAY AWAY

I’m always willing to post a Michael Lohan story, especially since it gives me an excuse to post the photo of him in his Right Said Fred wardrobe. Apparently despite his best efforts, Lindsay Lohan is still not talking to her father. Because of that, he has no way to call her and ask for a couple of bucks. I mean he is getting married soon and his new bride doesn’t seem thrilled that he is deciding between cubic zirconia diamonds down at Wal-Mart.So, Michael found some weekly publication willing to give him $20 to say anything about Lindsay. New York magazine was the lucky recipient of a few minutes of Michael’s time and he had this to say.

“I definitely regret all the things I said about Samantha. I’m a Christian. I should not pass judgement on anyone. In the past, I felt that the best way to get to her was to speak out publicly and it was the wrong choice. Family matters should be kept private. I’ve learned that now.”

Umm. This declaration that family matters should stay private will last about as long as there is no news or money to be made by him to release other family matters. Do you really think we will never hear another word from Michael Lohan about his family? Seriously? Does he expect us to buy that? Please. The only reason he is saying it now is either because he needs money, it’s the Christmas season and he wants a gift, or his new bride wants Sam to DJ at the wedding. If he didn’t talk about family, what would he talk about? Knowing him almost anything. But, no one is interested in anything he has to say unless it is about family. So, the bright side is that if he keeps his word we will never have to do another Michael Lohan post.

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• Michael Lohan: I Regret All the Things I Said About Samantha
• Death Wish 6 - Starring Michael Lohan

If you recall, about a month or so ago, I posted a little thing in here about how Lindsay Lohan skipped the funeral of her grandfather because she was in an argument with Michael Lohan. I said she should have gone and most of you said she didn’t have to. Hey, at least she had some kind of reason for not attending. I mean in retrospect if she had gone, Michael would have probably just tried to sell the photos of it anyway, so he is probably just pissed he couldn’t go out and acquire any more items from the Right Said Fred line of clothes.

But, one person who was also not there was Ali Lohan. Not caught up in a huge squabble with her dad, one wonders what her excuse was for not showing up. Well according to Fox, the reason Ali didn’t show up at the funeral was because she didn’t have time to get her hair extensions done the day before and didn’t want anyone to see what horrible hair she has. Ummm. I guess we can congratulate her for telling the truth instead of making up some kind of in bed with the flu story. Can you even comprehend how shallow someone must be that they would not attend the funeral of their grandfather because they didn’t have time to get hair extensions? What the hell has this world come to? How vain can a kid get? I’m sure it was a horrific drama for her, but don’t you think that the parent she currently lives with would have at least acted like a parent and told her to get the f**k to the funeral? Yeah, well the mother of the year obviously didn’t do that because she was probably more concerned with how the look would affect her future commissions. She has to make a living after all, and she only has so many kids.

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• Paris Hilton Hawks Hair Extensions for DreamCatchers
• Lindsay Lohan What Was My Original Hair Color Anyway?

Lindsay Lohan is reported to have turned to LA police after becoming the victim of vile abuse.

The actress, who is currently the close companion of DJ Samantha Ronson, 31, is said to have received ‘Biblical’ threats at 3 different Californian addresses.

Now she has been assigned a police guard to protect her, claims the Daily Star.

Meanwhile, lawyers for Lindsay, 22, have filed a motion to prevent the paparazzi from filming her when she gives evidence in an upcoming court case involving her close friend, reports Access Hollywood.

Lindsay also doesn’t want transcripts or other accounts to be made public because she fears they would be ‘illegally exploited by the media’.

Samantha is embroiled in a legal battle with her former lawyers who she claims failed to ‘adequately represent her’ when she sued Perez Hilton and other internet bloggers for defaming her character.

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• Adam Brody has a huge crush on Jennifer Aniston!
• Demi Moore’s daughters know it all

FAMED music manager Johnny Wright is not only saying, “Thanks, but no thanks” to Dina Lohan - he slams her and her daughter Ali in a statement to Page Six.

Last week, we reported that Ali - the 14-year-old younger sister of Lindsay Lohan - and stage mother Dina had been approached by Wright through the Maloof brothers, who own The Palms in Las Vegas and the Sacramento Kings.

Lohan sources said Wright - who steered the Jonas Brothers and Justin Timberlake to the top - offered to manage Ali’s career. At the time, Dina told us via a rep she was interested and would take the meeting.

But forget that.

A scathing statement from Wright’s company states: “Johnny Wright would like to set the record straight regarding his involvement with Ali Lohan.

“Johnny Wright has never met with Ali Lohan, has never been introduced to Ali Lohan, nor has he had a meeting with Ali or Dina Lohan regarding Ali’s music career. While he wishes Ali Lohan the best in all her endeavors, Mr. Wright has never had any intention of speaking with Ali Lohan regarding her career. Any story that has surfaced about such a meeting holds no merit and is completely false.

“Wright Entertainment Group has never had any interest or intention of adding Ali Lohan as an artist on the company’s roster, which currently includes Justin Timberlake, Jonas Brothers, Janet Jackson and Ciara amongst others.”

A rep for Dina and Ali didn’t get back to us. Ali could use the help, though. Her single, “All the Way Around,” flopped this summer, and her show with Dina, “Living Lohan” on E!, isn’t expected to be renewed.

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• DINA LOHAN SAYS LINDSAY WILL STAY AWAY
• Dina Lohan is Living Lohan.

Hey, what do you know, an exclusive. Do you feel the excitement? Me neither. It just kind of seemed too lame to make a blind item, but exclusives are kind of lame. Of course it would have to be about Michael Lohan. Well, can’t win them all. At least he is fun to make fun of. Apparently now that Michael is getting married he is looking for something to do to make a buck other than trying to live off his relationship with his daughter. Probably a good idea considering the disintegration of that relationship and it wasn’t even a year ago when they were all huggy kissy when she got out of that Utah rehab clinic. Well being a general pain in the ass and making unsolicited comments can lead to the break down of even a father-daughter relationship.

Enough about that. Lets talk about Michael’s new money making scheme. Right now he is gathering investors for the purpose of getting them to pony up a bunch of dough so Michael can open his own celebrity rehab place. Not sure I would give him money to buy me a loaf of bread at the store, but ok. According to the person who passed me along all of this, otherwise, known as a source. Sounds cheesy like that though huh? Trying to stay off the cheese though this morning. No, not a lactose thing, but thanks for your concern. Anyway, the source says that Michael is telling all these potential investors that he is eminently qualified to to run such a place because of his own history with substance abuse and because he has a “unique insight and understanding into the nature of celebrity addicts.” Well, sure, but that means when he is selling this idea to investors he is exploiting Lindsay, because as far as I know he is the only celebrity addict he really knows. And does having insight into one celebrity addiction and going through rehab yourself somehow make you an expert and give you the ability to run an entire clinic? I don’t think so. Oh, and you think that when Michael needs some extra cash that perhaps someone at the clinic will whisper something to the tabloids. I wouldn’t go there if I were a celebrity. I wouldn’t go there period. The last thing I need to see if I am coming off a four year bender is Michael Lohan’s face in mine everyday while I’m trying to get clean.

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• Death Wish 6 - Starring Michael Lohan
• Michael Lohan Hates Samantha Ronson!

Somewhere down the line, a struggling network decided that Michael Lohan is interesting. Of course, no one will tell us the Network, as I assume they will also be announcing that they are laying off half the company on the same day. Apparently he has a lot of dirt to spill on ex-wife, Dina. I am not sure what’s less interesting, the subject of the interview or the subject matter of the subject himself. Tough call.

TVGuide.com says, “I have it all on tape — all recorded, time and date-stamped,” he said. “You will hear it all. I have 101 text messages between Lindsay and I, and I have about 60 tape recordings of Dina.”
Because of contractual agreements, Lohan cannot specify the name of the special or on what network it will air, but insisted it is “definitely” happening.
“It might be broken up into parts, but it’s going to be done,” he said. “These lies have to stop. She can’t say all these things to me and when I try to address it, deny everything. Dina’s a hypocrite and I’m tired of it.” “I’ve never taken or earned one penny from my daughter. Meanwhile, all the people around her, including her mother, are earning money off of her,” he said. “They want publicity. They’re there for self-serving reasons. I didn’t have my own reality TV show.”

(source)

• Christina Aguilera: “Inspired” to Record After Having Baby
• All is forgiven; McCain returning to Letterman

Fathers and daughters have their disagreements. But usually their shouting matches play out on opposite sides of a locked bedroom door, not through the press.

Of course, Michael and Lindsay Lohan must be used to this by now. On Wednesday, in the latest chapter of their years-long estrangement, she told “Access Hollywood”: “He’s out of control. … I want him to stop hurting and talking to the media about the people I love.”

Lindsay was responding to his assertion to E! that Samantha Ronson, her BFF, is “using my daughter.”

Thursday, Michael shot back at the 22-year-old rehab alum/actress-on-the-mend.

“Who’s out of control? Whose life is out of control? Give me a break,” he told ABCNews.com. “Going from place to place, being dragged around by Samantha so she can make more money off of Lindsay being there when she spins … She’s gone from making $7 million to less than a million a movie. Who’s out of control?

“I go to church,” he continued. “I go and help people in rehab. That’s control. How can she say I’m out of control?”

Michael said Dina, his ex-wife and Lindsay’s mom, first alerted him that Ronson, a 31-year-old DJ, is a bad influence on Lindsay. But he claimed Dina refuses to share her true views because she wants to continue to share the spotlight with Lindsay.

“I want Lindsay to be in a good place. When I started looking at what Samantha was doing, dragging Lindsay to clubs, drinking around Lindsay … Samantha is one of the biggest problems in her life,” Michael said. “That’s what Dina told me. I’m reacting on what Dina said, but then Dina steps out of the picture because she wants to look like the good guy.”

“Dina’s a two-face,” he continued. “She wants to try to look good and stay on Lindsay’s good side instead of being a good parent. I don’t give two hoots about my relationship with Lindsay as a friend. One day she’s going to turn around to me and tell me, ‘Daddy, you were right.’”

And until then, it’s all-out war. Michael claimed he’s on the verge of releasing text messages and recorded phone conversations with Lindsay and Dina that prove he’s the good guy in this Hollywood family drama.

“If they’re going to say I’m lying, I’m out of control, I’m going to show that they’re lying and they’re out of control,” he said.

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• Christina Aguilera: “Inspired” to Record After Having Baby
• Nic’s movie set damaged by flooding!

Clearly Michael Lohan has an attention whore problem. He now wants to box Kevin Federline for charity. Give me a break, this guy just can’t stand not being the center of the world. I wish someone would just knock him out, hell, I would foot the charity bill in that case. Maybe he could have a bus run over him for charity? I am full of ideas.

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• Eva Busy in Charity
• Death Wish 6 - Starring Michael Lohan

So, Lindsay figured out how to post on her MySpace blog and decided to stand up for her sister and the boob job rumors. I noticed that everyone has pretty much decided that Paris Hilton has a magic bra, but somehow that if Ali went big overnight then it must be surgery. Guess we know that Lohan family pretty well. I want to think that Lindsay wrote everything below. I left it in the format she had it in on her blog. I just don’t think that she knows how to spell or use some of the words she used. For the record she had no spelling errors even though it looks as if it were done from a phone.

I agree with Lindsay that people should not be focusing their attention on the breasts of a 14 year old. However, the question I have is, should a 14 year old girl be wearing a push up bra? Why is she wearing a push up bra? Did mom know she was wearing a push up bra when she left the house? I actually think Lindsay just used the premise of Ali’s breasts to actually give a plug to the clothing store that gave her free clothes. I’m grateful to any store on the planet that gives her free clothes and gets her out of the leggings.

The words of Lindsay. Adequite.

hey everyone..
i just had to share something that came up today and it made me feel a bit sick to my stomach.
so, here’s the visual…
me and my friend Patrick walking into a store, and two paparazzi come up out of nowhere (like usual) and start throwing questions at me…
one of them being, “Hey Lindsay, what do you have to say about people commenting on your sisters implants?”
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my response simply was, “Did you really just ask me that? She is a 14 year old girl, and you are a pedophile!”
i was caught out of nowhere so i didn’t really come up with the proper response at the time.. there’s many other things that i felt like saying, but why give it to a random guy with a camera so that he can make money!
All i am trying to say is, is that, i was raised with a wonderful family surrounding me, of course we have our ups and downs, but all in all my mother taught us to appreciate what we have been given. Nor would she ever encourage, or allow a 14 year old child to alter her body.
i am not judging people that do, but i am just saying that its not something that my family finds necessary to do, especially when you’re not even fully developed yet!
It is hard enough being 14 years old and you have enough insecurities to begin with, then add being in the public eye…
i just find it really disconcerting that people have to focus on the negative and that some people are sooooo bored with their own lives that they need to manifest lies to hurt another person.
in a more positive light…
i got some great clothes from alexander wang and i miss samantha cuz she’s out of town
have a wonderful day everyone~
til next time..
xx LL

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• Open Letter to Dina Lohan from Rob Schneider
• I Thought The Show Was About Ali Lohan?

Us Weekly reports in its latest issue, on newsstands now, that the young star of Living Lohan flaunted what looked like overnight curves at a Jonas Brothers concert in East Hampton, NY on August 9.

Just three months earlier, a flatter Lohan hit Fuse for a taping of The Sauce in NYC.

Lohan accidentally auditioned for a porn director on the season finale of her reality show last month.

“Ali obviously had no idea about [director Peter Davy’s] past,” her rep told Us. “If she did know, she never would have auditioned for him.”

Lohan has long sought fame.

“I want it so bad,” she told Teen Vogue earlier this year. “So bad you don’t even know. And now, it’s actually happening. I’ve already been asked for my autograph, and it’s just a really good feeling to have.”

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• Kate Beckinsale’s Pre-Show Cat-astrophe
• Christina Aguilera: “Inspired” to Record After Having Baby

Whoops!

On the finale of E!’s Living Lohan, cameras followed 14-year-old Ali Lohan as she went on an audition for the horror movie Trolls.

Unbeknownst to Ali, she auditioned for Peter Davy, director of such adult flicks as Voodoo Lust and Dreams in the Forbidden Zone, TMZ.com reported Wednesday.

“Ali obviously had no idea about Davy’s past,” her rep tells Usmagazine.com. “If she did know, she never would have auditioned for him.”

TMZ.com reports that Ali’s mom Dina “went nuclear” when she got word.

Ali hasn’t been quiet about her desire to be famous.

“I grew up watching Lindsay, and it made me want to do what she does,” she told Teen Vogue earlier this year. “Just the whole vibe. Being there, being on camera, or onstage, with everybody listening to you … it’s so cool when people look up to you.

“I want it so bad,” she said of fame. “So bad you don’t even know. And now, it’s actually happening. I’ve already been asked for my autograph, and it’s just a really good feeling to have.”

(source)

• Christina Aguilera: “Inspired” to Record After Having Baby
• All is forgiven; McCain returning to Letterman

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants part deux said it was a no-go to Dina and Ali Lohan. I would just like to go on record as saying that I wasn’t kicked out, this is strongly due to the fact that I would never go to such a movie premier. Does that movie even look worth a damn?

Still, always good to hear about a Lohan getting booted.

E! Online says, Sources report that when Dina, Ali and a friend of Ali’s arrived to the after-party, they sat down at a reserved table. A studio staffer politely asked her to change tables, but “Dina “went apes–t,” a partygoer tells me. “It so wasn’t cool.”
So not cool that “Dina was quietly removed” from the rooftop soiree, another source says.

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• Christina Aguilera: “Inspired” to Record After Having Baby
• All is forgiven; McCain returning to Letterman

Lindsay Lohan

Hollywood star Lindsay Lohan was taken to a hospital after being hit by a motorcycle while on the town clubbing in New York City.The actress had been partying with her licking girlfriend Samantha Ronson, when the bike collided with her early on Saturday morning, sources said. Lindsay’s dad Michael Lohan confirmed to the New York Post his daughter had been in an accident. He said: ‘She’s not hurt. That’s all I really care about.’An employee at the Beth Israel Medical Center in Manhattan told the paper Lindsay was treated and released at about 4am. It was not clear if an accident report was filed.Lindsay has a long history of mishaps on the roads, but on most occasions she has been in the driver’s seat. In August 2007 she made a plea deal on misdemeanour drunk-driving and cocaine charges involving two separate arrests.The deal meant she was sentenced to a day in prison, but she famously spent just 84 minutes at Lynwood jail.The Hollywood star’s first DUI arrest was in May 2007, when she crashed her black Mercedes in Beverly Hills after a night of wild partying. She was whisked away to hospital before police arrived, but cocaine was recovered from her car.Two months later Lindsay was busted again just 11 days after leaving rehab.She was arrested for DUI and driving with a suspended licence after a bizarre car chase where she pursued her former assistant’s mother.

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• Lindsay Lohan Hit By A Bike!
• Lindsay Lohan Looking Like She Relapsed