In a chapter titled “Jennifer Lopez’s Antics: The J Down Lo,” author Richard Laermer opines: “This woman has tried everything - no exaggeration: She’s been a movie star, a diva, a romantic comedian, a put-upon daughter, a lady from The Bronx, a married ‘mama,’ a half of a Hollywood duo, a disco starlet, a Chiquita, and my favorite: the next Gloria Estefan. Honestly, there is something to be said for people like Lopez who think they are gods in fact getting a comeuppance from their fans. In 2001, J.Lo was the biggest of the big, and is now the star likely to be found soon on Trivial Pursuit. And her album of 2007, called ‘Brave’ without a tinge of irony, was dubbed worst of the year, with one critic saying ‘too shallow even by Ashley Tisdale standards.’ ”

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Jennifer Lopez’s fans will be glad to hear that the actress returns to her acting job in the movie “The Governess.” According to Variety, the new mommy returns on the big screen in another romantic comedy. Jennifer Lopez became a mother in February. The actress gave birth to twins Emme and Max on Feb. 22.

Although she begins working again, the part in the new movie is not far from her real life role as a mother. The actress will play a professional thief who has to pose as a nanny, in order to pull off a heist. She must take care of a rich widower’s kids. But she starts to like the family and finds herself facing a dilemma: continue with the job and with her life as a thief or start a normal life with the kids and their dad?

The movie was written in part by Kevin Wade, who wrote “Maid in Manhattan” and it will be directed by Nigel Cole. Jennifer Lopez, 39, was seen in “El Cantante” from 2006 and she is already working on another movie called “Love and Other Impossible Pursuits,” which will be released in 2009.

Jennifer Lopez in silver dress at Beso restaurant

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She gained more than three stone while pregnant with twins Max and Emme, but less than five months later Jennifer Lopez has slipped back into a bikini.

The 38-year-old singer stripped down to a string two-piece while holidaying aboard a luxury boat in Italy.

She was joined by husband Marc Anthony, who showered her with affection as she cooled off in the sea, as well as friend and fashion designer Stefano Gabbana.

After giving birth in February, Jennifer said she was in no rush to lose her baby weight, revealing she even liked to ‘play with my little leftover belly.’

She slowly reintroduced a fitness regime, working out three times a week with celebrity personal trainer Gunnar Peterson.

Her program now includes 20-30 minute walks with sets of push-ups and lunges.

The couple’s summer holiday marks the end of Anthony’s European tour, which took in Spain, Belgium and Italy.

Jennifer, who has barely been apart from the Latin star since their marriage in 2004, joined him on the road along with their children.

When announcing his plan to make the tour a family affair, Marc said: ‘When I perform… they will inspire me.’

Jennifer is expected to resume work later this week, and has already has a number of film projects lined up including the romantic comedy Love and Other Impossible Pursuits.

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Jennifer Lopez debuted her bikini body in Tenerife, Spain Sunday – just four months after giving birth to twins Max and Emme!

Jennifer Lopez, husband Marc Anthony, sister Lynda and the twins were seen relaxing poolside at their hotel.

Jennifer Lopez bikini pictures

I used the phrase “demanding diva” because, as a title, is sounds better than “cold, ruthless bitch” but in reality, I mean the latter of the two phrases. But honestly, are you surprised? Jennifer Lopez just looks like an unbearably rude, nasty woman who cares only about herself. She always talks about her “fans” but you know she doesn’t give a damn. Now that she’s had kids she thinks people are more interested in her so now she’s even more big-headed, bossy, and bitchy but in reality, I think we’re all tired of her big, make-up-y face. Aren’t you? I am. Here’s the scoop on her being a demanding diva (aka cold, ruthless bitch):

Jennifer Lopez was a diva with a capital D shopping last week at the Catherine Malandrino boutique on Manhasset’s Miracle Mile, near where she lives with hubby Marc Anthony. “She demanded the store be shut down for her to shop alone, but they said, ‘Absolutely not,’ ” said our spy. “Then one of her eight-person entourage, including two bodyguards with their guns showing, was yelling at the clerk that Jennifer gets a 50 percent discount. Jennifer also tried on about a million outfits, then just threw it all in a pile in the dressing room and didn’t buy one thing.” J.Lo’s rep did not return a call.”

Her rep didn’t return the call because she’s probably holding a knife to his throat as we speak. She’s threatening that if he ever tells anyone how she really is, she’ll cut him to pieces. Then she probably reminded him of that movie she was in, Enough, where she learned how to sort of fight. “I will do that to you” she says to him.

Poor guy. He should really get a new job. Even Katherine Heigl would be better to work for!

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JENNIFER Lopez was a diva with a capital D shopping last week at the Catherine Malandrino boutique on Manhasset’s Miracle Mile, near where she lives with hubby Marc Anthony. “She demanded the store be shut down for her to shop alone, but they said, ‘Absolutely not,’ ” said our spy. “Then one of her eight-person entourage, including two bodyguards with their guns showing, was yelling at the clerk that Jennifer gets a 50 percent discount. Jennifer also tried on about a million outfits, then just threw it all in a pile in the dressing room and didn’t buy one thing.” J.Lo’s rep did not return a call.

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At least I think Jennifer Lopez and Mark Anthony took the twins out in public. I can’t tell if it is really them in those blankets. 

I am assuming J-Lo is holding Emme and Skeletor is holding Max because of the trim on the blankets, but I could be wrong.

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A group of eight students from PS 37 in Staten Island’s Great Kills neighborhood, had a very special guest in attendance for their graduation today: Jennifer Lopez.

The singer/actress visited the facility, a school for autistic children, to see the group of 10-and-11-year-olds perform her song “Let’s Get Loud” at their graduation ceremony.

The class was first introduced to Lopez’s music a few months ago when they had to choose a song to dance to at graduation. Teacher Kathy Amati and paraprofessional Rose Mondella showed the students the “Let’s Get Loud” video as a suggestion, and the class of eight boys loved it. They wanted to watch it every day and learned all of the lyrics and dance moves from the video.

“The kids don’t even really understand how famous she is,” said Ms. Amati. “They just really like her singing and dancing.”

After observing the boys’ enthusiasm, Ms. Amati and Ms. Mondella decided to have the children write letters to Lopez, which were sent to her fan clubs. While their teachers were only hoping for a few pictures or maybe even an autograph, the students always expected more.

“From the minute we wrote the letters, they just automatically thought she would come,” Ms. Amati said.

Finally, a response from the singer came yesterday afternoon when one of her representatives called the school wanting to know the time of the graduation ceremony because Lopez wanted to attend.

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Are Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony actually caring for their 3-month-old twins, Max and Emme, without the help of nannies? Yes they are, reports Us Weekly. The magazine says that the couple’s nanny “abruptly left” in mid-April, and they have since decided to hold down the fort on their own.

How will they do it? Apparently, by not taking on too many projects in the near future. “They both told their managers that the next year would be all about family,” a source told the magazine. Perhaps the “abrupt” departure of the nanny had something to do with the family’s reality show? Watching a stranger take care of Max and Emme wouldn’t exactly make great television …

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Lynda Lopez

Singing superstar Jennifer Lopez’s sister Lynda, is expecting a child.The 34-year-old news anchor showed off a baby bump for the first time at a Christian Dior party in New York City on Monday, which she attended with her boyfriend Adam Goldfried and her superstar sister. And a representative reveals, “I can confirm she’s expecting.” Jennifer Lopez gave birth to twins Max and Emme in February.

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Motherhood must really be taking its toll on old J.Lo because she looks used and abused. She always wore about 12 lbs of make-up, so that’s not new, but it looks more cakey and disgusting now. And she just seems like she’s really faking to act semi-happy. I don’t know, she just looks like shit here and, well, lately.

I bet she has a bunch of nannies who are “taking care of” (aka raising) her twins. Do you guys think she and Marc Anthony are being real, normal parents or do you think they are being typical celebrities?

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Jennifer Lopez Wedding

Hollywood director Robert Luketic was left red-faced after turning up to singer Jennifer Lopez’s wedding in casual shorts and flip-flops.In an effort to keep the event unpublicized, Lopez told guests invited to her 2004 nuptials to singer Marc Anthony the event was just an “afternoon party”. And the trick worked, as filmmaker Luketic, who directed Lopez in Monster-in-Law, was clueless as to the gathering’s real purpose.He recalls, “She told me it was a barbecue because she didn’t want anyone to know about it.”Being the nice Aussie boy I am, I thought I’d bring a bit of BYO (bring your own alcohol) and wear my summer clothes. I turned up to this mansion on Mulholland, walked in the living room and all her family and everyone was there.”I remember storming into the bedroom and saying, ‘You told me it was a barbecue,’ as J-Lo was slipping into her wedding dress.”

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Pop singer Jennifer Lopez is denying fans the chance of an in-depth look at her real world in her forthcoming reality television show, as the program will not feature any aspects of her personal life.The star was reported to have given the camera crew license to follow her while she tries to juggle her music and acting careers along with motherhood. But now the star has insisted the program, commissioned for TLC, will only cover the launch of her new fragrance and not her personal home life. Lopez’s manager Simon Fields has revealed that anyone hoping for a glimpse of her life with husband Marc Anthony and their baby twins will be highly disappointed. He tells People.com, “The recent show Jennifer Lopez plans to produce for TLC is not a reality show.”It’s a show that will track the creation, production and eventual launch of a new fragrance. Jennifer will appear in a creative, entrepreneurial capacity and will absolutely not feature her children and family life.”

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Look out reality show fans - Jennifer Lopez and husband Marc Anthony have signed on with The Learning Channel (TLC) to do a “docu-series.”

The show will “deliver a slice of [Lopez’s] life that audiences have never seen before, as she takes on her career and launches a new fragrance while trying to juggle her new responsibilities as a first-time mom,” TLC President Angela Shapiro-Mathes said.

The mom of twins Max and Emme, 2-months, announced the news at New York’s Lincoln Center yesterday, and said:

“I’m looking forward to sharing this exciting journey together.”

The details are still in the works, so no launch date has been announced yet.

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Jennifer Lopez nip shot.

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