10 reasons why Beyonce is a lunatic onstage - FourFour

Suri Cruise visits the Spice Girls - Just Jared

Eva Mendes goes nude for Peta - Egotastic!

Posh’s breasts come out in San Jose - Hollywood Tuna

Britney Spears is abusive - IDLYITW

Xtina still looks like a pregnant hooker - Popsugar

Hayden Panatrolls period dress (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Brit gets banned from Winston’s - Hollywood Rag

Ash Olsen sounds off - Cityrag

The ABBA museum is coming - A Socialite’s Life

Who knew if Lance Armstrong and Ashley Olsen were dating, but if they were they’ve moved on. Lance Armstrong was seen “canoodling” at a Nascar party in NYC last night with fitness model Kim Strother.

A witness told OK! Magazine, “They were completely into each other the whole time. I didn’t see them kissing, but she was sitting on his lap at one point and being very affectionate.”

I thought all fitness models were lesbians. She has her arm around him like she’s one of the guys. She’s whispering in his ear, “Dude check out the rack on the redhead over there.”

As for Ashley Olsen she was spotted “canoodling” with Josh Lucas at a party for The New Museum in NYC two nights ago. Lance was also at the party and witnesses seem to think Ashley was trying to make him jealous. Naw, she’s just a horny troll.

A source said, “They were meant to be watching one of the acts but they were cuddling up instead. She was all over him.”

I just can’t keep track with Hollywood hos. Ashley is dating Josh today and tomorrow he will be dating Kate Hudson who will be dating Lance Armstrong the next day who will be dating Ashley again. It’s a vicious circle

This is what Hayden Panatroll is going to look like in 10 years - Just Jared

Mary-Kate Olsen is red, white and homeless (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather 

Katherine Heigl puffs away - IDLYITW 

Gemma Atkinson’s huge breasts invade the jungle - Hollywood Tuna

JLove squeezes her pear body into a bikini - Egotastic! 

Britney’s plastic-haired triplets - Popsugar

Hayden’s cliche lesbian fantasies - Hollywood Rag 

Rose McGowan is looking good for once - The Bastardly 

Jakey G to play Joe Namath - A Socialite’s Life 

The Golden Girls live - Cityrag

Did Becks snub a group of children with cancer?! - Holy Moly! 

Boy George will stand trial for kidnapping a hooker - Towleroad 

One of Mimi’s fans gets a seriously hideous tattoo in her honor - Mollygood 

Promise? Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner will never walk the red carpet together - I’m Not Obsessed 

MK Olsen gets Nachos back! Paris is pissed - Celebitchy 

Andy Baldwin is still a flaming gay - Celebslam

Hugh Laurie takes up boxing - SOW

Mary-Kate Olsen was hospitalized in NYC yesterday for some kind of kidney infection. The 21-year-old was brought into the ER yesterday reports People.

Her rep says, “Mary Kate got a kidney infection. She’s resting comfortably and will be released in the next day or so.“

Does “kidney infection” mean “not eating” in troll talk? Aren’t you drinking cranberry juice MK? Add a little Vodka to it for extra infection-killing powers. My doctor told me that. Dr. Grey Goose. 

Her kidney is probably the size of my thumbnail.

Lance Armstrong has denied that he’s dating Ashley Olsen. It’s been rumored that the nut and the troll have been getting down and dirty.

He told Page Six they are just friends, “We have hung out amongst other friends, and she strikes me as a nice, smart lady.”

Lance’s ex, Sheryl Crow, also responded to the rumors that she thought Lance dating a troll was gross. The horse’s mouth said, “Lance and I are friends. I have a lot of respect for him and what he does in the world of cancer. What he does in his personal life . . . is none of my business. Nor would I ever comment on it.“

Bitch please! You know you thought it was gross. We all did! Go gallop into the sunset now. I’m through with you and your lies.

I’m just going to get right to it. Radar reports that one of Lance Armstrong’s 6-year-old twin daughters brought Ashley Olsen to “show and tell.” Yes, the little girl showed off daddy’s new girlfriend at her Texas school. A source said that “celebrities do this all time“

When Lance was dating Tory Burch, her son brought him to show and tell at his Upper East Side Manhattan school.

Those rich kids are so weird.

I brought an elderly turtle to my show and tell. I guess that’s just like bringing an Olsen. Shit, I could’ve told my classmates that it was Ashley Olsen and they would’ve believed me.

Is Heidi really trying to back that ass up? Don’t you need to have an ass in order to do that? - ICYDK 

Becks’ ass will sell Emporio Armani panties - Towleroad 

The Olsen trolls as twin bridesmaids - I’m Not Obsessed 

A Christian group targets 50 Cent - Holy Moly! 

Paris Hilton won’t be on Broadway anytime soon - Celebitchy 

Brad covers up Angie’s busted ass - SOW 

James Woods is still dating a toddler - Evil Beet

Ashley Olsen’s little thing with Lance Armstrong seems to be going somewhere. That somewhere is the SoHo House in NYC. UsWeekly reports that the two lovetrolls are shacking up there.

Friends of Ashley are apparently warning her not to get too comfortable since Lance might be going through a “mid-life crisis.” The two have 15 years between them.

It could be worse for Ash. She could be dating Bob Saget, because you know he’s probably tried.

I bet you she’s shorter than his 6-year-old twins.

In one of the most unlikely matches that you could possibly dream up, Full House star Ashley Olsen has reportedly found love with Tour de France champion Lance Armstrong.

According to New York Post’s Page Six, Olsen, 21, was seen Monday night getting cozy with the 36-year-old retired cyclist at New York’s Gramercy Park Hotel.

Ashley Olsen and Lance Armstrong were spotted at the Rose Bar in New York Monday night. The two seemed to be really enjoying each other’s company, according to Page Six:

Our bar spy said, “They came together with a group of friends. Ashley drank red wine, sat on his lap and they were making out all night. They left together around 2 a.m.”

Lance, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. I know what it’s like to keep your body at peak physical shape. Like a well-tuned machine. You push yourself to the limit everyday. And sometimes you just need to relax. Whether that entails taking in a movie, drinking a fine glass of wine or having sex with an anorexic Muppet is your decision. In the meantime, since you bagged yourself an Olsen twin, the Sesame Street people keep calling. They want Kermit back.

Photos: INFdaily.com

36-year-old Lance Armstrong recently split up from designer Tory Burch and it looks like he’s traded up. Lance showed up to the Rose Bar in NYC on Monday night with 21-year-old Ashley Olsen. Witnesses told Page Six that the two were making out all night.

“They came together with a group of friends. Ashley drank red wine, sat on his lap and they were making out all night. They left together around 2 a.m.“

Ash is only 21. Everyone should spend their 20s slutting it up. Get in, get on, get off and get out! Lance is a hot piece of man meat, so she should suck that one nut and then move on.  

Although, watching her make out with Lance Armstrong would probably freak me out for a while. But it is Halloween!

Leave it an Olsen to actually wear a good costume for Halloween. Ashley Olsen dressed as Marie Antoinette for Kate Hudson’s Halloweenie bash this past weekend.

The dude she’s posing with above is Marc Jacob’s boyfriend, Jason Preston. Now….is that a Mariah tattoo I see before me? I don’t know the ins and outs of Jason Preston, but I’m going to take a guess and say that tattoo is Mariah for Mariah Carey. Mimi’s #1 lamb!

He already has a Marc Jacobs tattoo and a Thundercats tattoo and now a Mariah tattoo? He’s a walking Times Square billboard!  

MKandAshFan VIA ONTD