After attending a New York movie screening with rumored new boyfriend Justin Bartha last night, it appears that Ashley Olsen is about to finally make her new relationship public. And after years of tracking the Olsen Twins, we have to admit that we are more than a bit mystified by how these two ended up as a couple. The deliciously handsome actor, sort of memorable from National Treasure (for those of you bold enough to admit you’ve seen it), is about to become far more memorable after appearing opposite Catherine Zeta-Jones in next year’s The Rebound. But more on our new crush this guy later. The question we can’t quite answer yet has to do with both Olsens and their laundry list of former flings. Never failing to shock, both Mary Kate and Ashley have one of the most eccentric, baffling and WTF dating history between them. We examine each of their previous love interests in an attempt to figure out what exactly they find attractive, why they pick who they pick, and upon discovering quite the few lookers in the bunch, why these guys pick them, after the jump.

Before Bartha, Ashley was most recently linked to one ball wonder Lance Armstrong; prior to the bit part actor/bicyclist, the working twin had dalliances with Jared Leto before Lindsay Lohan stole him away. Most curiously, perhaps, was her brief sting dating the Prince of Annoyingness Wilmer Valderrama. The only pattern we see for our Ashley is the common presence of blue eyes (minus Wilmer), a solid but not intimidating bad boy rap sheet (minus Bartha, far as we know), and a general goal of dating the most random Hollywood outcasts in town. Were we not so envious of her newest paramour, we’d quite possibly applaud her diverse taste, even with Wilmer in the pack. Jared will always be Jordan Catalano in our eyes, no matter how much makeup he piles on.

MK has a wildly different (and yet unnervingly similar!) pattern of her own. Currently dating euro billionaire Lapo Elkann, the prunier Olsen counts artist/Uma Thurman cousin Max Snow and every Hollywood bimbo’s favorite throwaway make-out partner Stavros Niarchos among her ex-boyfriends. It seems MK’s requirements include long, mangy hair, an incredibly ambiguous “career” despite being labeled heirs, and guys who are afraid of showers. In the end, we get the sense that the more pragmatic and naive Ashley tends to chase after those who shoot excellent game and resemble knights in latex/guylighter/hair gelled armor, while MK has a far more pointed system: the dirtier, sleazier, greasier, and potentially damaging boys feed (hey, something has to feed her) her masochistic mania. Analysis complete.

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Ashley looking very hot in these bikini pictures.

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What has happened to TV, when both Britney Spears and Mary-Kate Olsen are up for consideration for this year’s Emmys for their “acting” role? According to Gold Derby Showtime has submitted Mary-Kate Olsen for Emmy Consideration for best guest actress in a comedic role for Weeds. And if CBS decides to submit Britney Spears for How I Met Your Mother, the two will be competing against each other for the Emmy. Could you imagine Britney Spears and Mary-Kate Oslen dueling it for an Emmy at the Creative Emmys? I mean what is next NBC submitting Paris Hilton for My Name Is Earl and Lindsay Lohan and Victoria Beckham for Ugly Betty?

My money is Katherine Heigl for the win, oh wait her sh!t doesn’t stink enough for consideration.

UPDATE: CBS has submitted Britney Spears for How I Met Your Mother! 

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After nearly five months, Mary-Kate Olsen still refuses to speak about the fact that she was the first person called after Heath Ledger was found dead in his apartment.

“I’m not going to comment on that,” Olsen, who turns 22 on June 13, tells Elle in its July issue. “I won’t give you a word about that in the nicest way possible. Let’s move on.”

The actress, who said in a statement last January that “Heath was a “friend” and “his death is a tragic loss,” also keeps mum about being a celebrity.

“It’s not a part of my life. It’s a media perception of who I am,” she tells the magazine. “It’s very weird. I mean, if I see a paparazzi shot of me walking that’s in a magazine or something at some event, it’s as if I see it from an outsider’s point of view. There’s like a character, almost, and then there’s me.”

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Just one glance at what guests were wearing at last night’s CFDA Fashion Awards and it was clear who was on their minds.
Ashley Olsen paid homage to the late great Yves Saint Laurent and his famous Le Smoking suit, by choosing this black tuxedo from Calvin Klein’s resort ‘09 collection.

Ashley Olsen - 2008 CFDA Fashion Awards at The NY Public Library

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I can’t believe that I am actually about to sit and write something about this and that US Weekly actually printed it in their magazine and that at least 10 other gossip sites have reported the same thing. Some barista. Ok, stop for a second. Why do the cashiers at Starbucks get to call themselves baristas and the cashiers at McDonalds are just cashiers? Is this elitist? Racist? They make the same amount of money, so why is the person at Starbucks made to feel superior with their title? Does someone who works as a cashier at McDonalds dream of that next big promotion in the world to barista?

Anyway, the dude who gets the Olsen twins coffee each day has confessed to substituting their preferred skim milk, for gasp, whole milk. Yes, it seems that he thought they were too skinny and thus needed the benefits of the fattening whole milk.

Hey, I guarantee you that whole milk is probably the least offensive thing the twins have had thrown into their coffee cups over the years. I heard one time, this coffee dude, used soy instead of milk. I know, I know. Huge scandal. Oh, and this one other time, someone put an extra shot of espresso. He had something entered into his file permanently. Shunned he was. Ruined for life. Forced to work at Seattle’s Best now. Can’t get a sniff of another Starbucks.

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FRIENDS of starlet Ashley Olsen are a little concerned over the fashionista’s recent interest in handsome “National Treasure” actor Justin Bartha.
After Page Six reported the duo had a romantic dinner at Patsy’s in Midtown, stories surfaced of his strange behavior and angry antics with a former girlfriend.

“He’s a little bit psycho-y,” said one source who knows Bartha. “He’s a really cute, nice guy, but he was always jumping out of the shot when Lydia Hearst [Bartha’s former girlfriend of a year] was being photographed.

“It’s a little strange that he would go after a girl [Olsen] who is always having her photo taken,” the source added.

We’re told that after Hearst ended her relationship with Bartha, “he didn’t take it well” and even went so far as to “scream at her and call her a bitch” at an Oscar party this year.

“Lydia broke up with him in August 2007, and at the In Style party during the Oscars in February 2008, Justin went up to her and yelled at her in front of everyone,” said an insider who witnessed the incident.

When the couple broke up, Bartha was evidently crushed. “Lydia was so young, and he was just too intense about her,” the source said. “Justin is still really p - - - ed that she broke up with him in August.”

Bartha is gaining status while here in New York shooting “The Rebound” with Catherine Zeta-Jones, and has been avoiding the cameras so far - but that’s likely to change if he takes up with Olsen.

Hearst, meanwhile, is in Vienna for the Life Ball, where she’ll walk in the Agent Provocateur show. She could not be reached, but her rep confirmed the incident at the In Style party and told us, “There are no hard feelings between Lydia and Justin.”

Bartha’s reps didn’t return our multiple calls and e-mails.

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A forlorn Mary Kate Olsen was seen entering a Century City parking lot and no, she wasn’t upset because of how much she was going to have pay for parking. Olsen was more upset that she was photographed wearing what most would consider a rather normal outfit. Olsen asked if the photographer could come back in twenty minutes or so and she’ll be wearing something wackier than what Bjork wore to the Oscars that one year. Yet the photographer persisted with his picture taking and explained that this is worth more money. Olsen sighed, then asked, “How do you know that I’m Mary Kate? Maybe, I’m the sane one. Ashley?” The photographer shrugged his shoulders and said, “Same difference.”

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It wouldn’t be a New York fashion event without those twin style mavens - the Olsens. Escorted by shoe guru Christian Louboutin, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen arrived at the glamorous bash wearing Diane von Furstenberg.

Showing off their individual styles, the twins failed to inspire in their choices of gowns. Although if I had to choose one it would be Ashley’s black column dress with cut-out sides over Mary-Kate’s granny-esque gold number. However both girls seem a stranger to a decent hair and make-up artist.

Olsen Twins @ Metropolitan Museum of Art Costume Institute Gala

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I don’t know about you, but I have never been able to tell them apart. Now for the first time I know which one is Ashley and which one is Mary-Kate. Even though they are fraternal twins they always looked exactly the same and now it looks like that is no longer the case anymore. Ashley’s face looks different, but it could be just because she is straightening her hair. I guess you can tell who I think looks better.

Am I the only who doesn’t think that The Olsen Twins are no longer identical? 

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Ladies remember when you were a kid and you put on your mom’s long dress for dress up, didn’t it just look like what Mary-Kate Olsen looks like in that dress. Where did she get that dress at the Big and Tall store? Mary-Kate you are neither big or tall, so get a dress that fits! 

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Mary Kate Olsen Photos at The Screening of 21 and Prime; After-Party in New York City.

Mary-Kate Olsen - Shopping in Newport Beach, CA.

I think Angela Lansbury deserves the top spot. Someone tell me different.
Give me a couple bottles of vodka and a Good Eats marathon and I am set for the weekend.
I will say one thing for Drake Bell. He is not afraid to make a statement with his fashion choices.
Counting Crows - New York
Hugh Jackman in his bathing suit. For other celebrity dads in bathing suits, US Weekly has a whole bunch. The reason I am giving you all these guys will become obvious shortly.
Fergie actually makes Quentin Tarantino look good. That is saying something. Not sure what it is saying, but it is saying something.
The new film from the Farrelly Brothers. Bitch and Bitchier. Also known as Eva Amurri and Lydia Hearst.
People in Australia are willing to pay Dennis Rodman to open a club.
Someone said yesterday they wanted a book from Tatum O’Neal’s offspring. I want a book from Dakota Johnson.
Reason #1 for the Hugh Jackman photo. Although I must admit that Ashley Olsen doesn’t look half bad.
Mary Kate on the other hand. Not so much.
Mother daughter talks in 2008.
Throw on some turquoise earrings and Mischa Barton is ready for a k.d lang concert.
Leslie Nielsen is about 30 years older than Pamela Anderson and about 30 times better looking.
Selita Eubanks at her 25th birthday party. I know, I know looks about 45 with a really bad wig.
Marisa Tomei always looks really good before she gets to the open bar.
I don’t think that when Mena Suvari is about 70, that the tattoo is going to look quite so good. Hell, it doesn’t look good now. WTF was she thinking?
Marilu Henner still looks great.
Oh yes, Tracy. She is much classier than your wife.
Simon Rex at 7pm.
Simon Rex at midnight.
See. This is why I love Random Photos. Stephen Root and Wayne Knight.
You probably don’t watch as much porn as I do, but Sienna Miller getting into this van with strangers kind of reminds me of a Bang Brothers film.

Hugh Hefner

Playboy icon Hugh Hefner is hoping to convince the Olsen twins to celebrate their 22nd birthday in June by stripping off in the magazine, according to reports. The magazine king has attempted to woo Mary-Kate and Ashley to disrobe in Playboy since they turned 18, and he’s now launched a renewed bid to tempt them out of their clothes for a special birthday photo shoot. A source tells Star magazine, “Hef thinks the twins are every young man’s fantasy.”But insiders insist the Olsens are holding out for a more classy magazine deal, telling Star, “They’re all about high-end fashion these days. They want to do Vogue.”