Lindsay Lohan

Hollywood star Lindsay Lohan was taken to a hospital after being hit by a motorcycle while on the town clubbing in New York City.The actress had been partying with her licking girlfriend Samantha Ronson, when the bike collided with her early on Saturday morning, sources said. Lindsay’s dad Michael Lohan confirmed to the New York Post his daughter had been in an accident. He said: ‘She’s not hurt. That’s all I really care about.’An employee at the Beth Israel Medical Center in Manhattan told the paper Lindsay was treated and released at about 4am. It was not clear if an accident report was filed.Lindsay has a long history of mishaps on the roads, but on most occasions she has been in the driver’s seat. In August 2007 she made a plea deal on misdemeanour drunk-driving and cocaine charges involving two separate arrests.The deal meant she was sentenced to a day in prison, but she famously spent just 84 minutes at Lynwood jail.The Hollywood star’s first DUI arrest was in May 2007, when she crashed her black Mercedes in Beverly Hills after a night of wild partying. She was whisked away to hospital before police arrived, but cocaine was recovered from her car.Two months later Lindsay was busted again just 11 days after leaving rehab.She was arrested for DUI and driving with a suspended licence after a bizarre car chase where she pursued her former assistant’s mother.

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It has been a few weeks since I have taken apart a People article and when I read this puff piece about Ali Lohan I knew it was time again.So, I’m referring to them as People here just because I am about to copy and paste the article and so might as well give People Magazine as much credit as possible for the following travesty.

***Ali Lohan’s new single “All The Way Around” has emerged as a hit on iTunes, maintaining a steady spot on the iTunes Top 100 since its debut July 14.

Whenever you see a line that refers to the Top 100 and not Top 20, or something like that, it is always best to check. Currently Ali’s song ranks 98th on the list, but it sounds much more impressive the way Kneepads writes it. I mean if they said something was a hit and then said it was at 98 they would look like idiots. Oh, Ali’s song is 27 spots lower than Jessica Simpson’s hit song.

Just as important to the 14-year-old is a vote of confidence from her singer sister Lindsay Lohan, and her deejay gal pal Samantha Ronson.

I guess gal-pal is People code speak for gay. Either that or People is using writers who once wrote for Laugh In. Who the hell uses the term gal-pal?

“Lindsay loves it,” Ali told PEOPLE in an exclusive interview. “It was nervewracking to hear from her because she’s so hugely successful, so I was like ‘No, don’t listen to it!’ I ran out of the room when she listened to it. She’s really proud of me.”

Umm. Unless you have a sibling that actually hates you what do you think they are going to say about your song? And umm since when did Lindsay Lohan become an authority on all things music. Also, have you watched that Living Lohan show? Tell me honestly if you think that Ali Lohan would ever use hugely successful in a sentence. The only time she is doing the whole multiple syllable thing is when she is ordering at Starbucks or getting a manicure and pedicure.

As for Ronson, “She likes it a lot,” says Lohan, adding that “it would be really cool” for Ronson to play a remix version of the tune at one her deejaying gigs.

It would be really cool and I doubt it is going to happen kid. Oh, sure if it is your birthday or she and Lindsay get in a fight and she needs some action you might hear a sample, but other than that I don’t think Samantha is going to take a chance and get laughed out of the room.

Lohan’s next single will be called “Close That Door,” which the singer-actress says “is about closing the door to the past, and all the negativity you went through in the past.” Lohan, who’s currently recording additional tracks for her upcoming album, also says she’s “looking at back-up dancers” for an upcoming video and tour.

That is from the press release about the song and are the exact same words everyone uses to describe the song. Of course since Ali didn’t actually write that song and only heard it for the first time the day she recorded it, I’m sure it is very meaningful to her. The only looking at she is doing is trolling through MySpace photos of guys she thinks are hot. Or girls. Nothing wrong with that.

In fact, if her E! series Living Lohan, also starring her manager-mom Dina, continues for a second season, it will likely focus on Lohan going on tour. “If anything, it’ll be me on the tour bus. I’m not sure yet.”

Wow, when People can’t spin the part about your show getting picked up you know it must be in some serious trouble. If it is picked up we can see ten episodes of Ali Lohan sitting on a tour bus whining about everything and how life isn’t fair and why she is so ugly and everyone is beautiful. Wait that last part is me not her.

Also on the horizon: Lohan may head to China and Italy this fall to film the movie Troll. ” I got the role, but I’m still thinking about it,” she said.

Well thanks for ruining this week’s episode for me. Yeah you keep thinking about it. Damn I can hear this kid whining even in this puff piece article. I have never heard such a whiny spoiled brat in my entire life. She is even worse than the kids on that MTV Sweet 16 show. God, I need a drink and it is barely 10am.

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My favorite Lohan, Dina is selling the family home. Lindsay’s mom has had it, because it has become over-run by photo-hunting fans. Since Dina and younger children Ali and Cody began appearing in the reality television show Living Lohan, fans have flocked to their Long Island, New York neighborhood, desperate for a glimpse of the Hollywood star’s less-famous parent and siblings. Wannabe pop star Ali, 14, tells the New York Daily News, “We’re looking for another home, because people are driving by our house and trying to take pictures and stuff.”

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DAD-of-the-year Michael Lohan is trying to get a celebrity weekly to help him with child-support payments if it turns out he’s the father of 13-year-old Ashley Kaufmann. Lohan has approached both OK! and People magazines with the offer of his exclusive story, should paternity tests prove he’s her biological father. “He’s approaching everyone to get the highest bid because, if he is the dad, he’s going to need the money for back child support,” said an insider. The tweenster’s mother, Kristi Kaufmann, claims she and Lohan had an affair in 1995 when he was separated from then-wife Dina Lohan. The asking price for Michael’s story is in the $20,000 range, but it sounds like both weeklies are passing on the offer. “Nobody wants to buy DNA results,” our source scoffed. A rep for People denied Lohan had approached the mag, and a rep for OK! said, “We’re not interested.”

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Photos of the 13-year-old cutie who could be Lindsay Lohan’s half-sister have finally been released. And the resemblance is striking.
From her freckles to her smile, Ashley Kaufmann certainly looks like she could be a member of the Lohan family.

Michael Lohan has revealed he took a DNA test to find out whether he is the father of the Montana teen.

Lohan admitted he had a fling with Ashley’s mom, 44-year-old Montana massage therapist Kristi Kaufmann, in 1995, when he was separated from Lindsay’s mom, Dina.

“I’ve seen pictures and, to tell the truth, there are similarities with Linds,” Michael Lohan told the Daily News last week. But now he has been backing off from embracing the possible new member of the Lohan clan, saying he is unsure whether Ashley is his.

Lohan has gone so far as to say he will sue Kaufmann for libel and defmation if the test results come back negative that he is Ashley’s father.

Lohan also says that he will not force his daughters with Dina, Lindsay and Ali, to have any kind of relationship with their possible sibling.
Results from the DNA test should be back within two weeks.

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The jerk is back. You know on Friday when I wrote about Michael Lohan and his love child, I thought I was fairly nice to Michael. I mean at least the guy had stepped up and admitted the kid was his and was writing her notes. Sure he hasn’t paid any money to her and the Freaky Friday lunch box he sent was a cheap shot. But what little girl wouldn’t want the I Know Who Killed Me stripper pole that he sent. I mean that is every 13 year old’s dream and Michael made it come true.

Anyway, all that goodwill and tolerance I had for Michael has gone out the window. I guess that since he figured that he might have to actually pay some back child support, Michael is doing the I only had sex with the woman a few times and there is no way the kid is mine dance. Now, his lawyers are handling everything. Look, I understand that the child might not be his. I mean a woman who would actually travel to different parts of the country to have sex with a married man is not really that high on my list of moral leaders. That being said, I think the child is being tossed and turned. For much of her life the 13 year old thought that one man was her dad. Then in 2005 she was told it was Michael Lohan and he wrote her a bunch of letters and probably made a bunch of promises. I’m sure he would have visited for a quickie with mom, but apparently she isn’t the looker she once was.

So, now the girl is confused. If Michael wants the lawyers to handle it. The cool. In the meantime though he should be saying and doing the right things. Like, assuming the girl is his until proven otherwise. He won’t be on the hook for child support if she isn’t his, but until a DNA test is done, treat her like your daughter. Make her feel special and loved and not someone that you obviously don’t care about and wish had never been born.

Guys. If you are going to have unprotected sex, then you need to be prepared for taking care of a child for a minimum of 18 years. Step up and act like a man. Don’t be a Lohan.

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Add deadbeat dad to the list of accomplishments in life for Michael Lohan. According to OK! Magazine, Michael Lohan fathered a girl who is now 13 when he and Dina were taking a break. Although Michael has known about the daughter and half-sister to Lindsay Lohan for a few years, Lindsay has never met her and Michael has never offered to help out in any way financially. Of course should the girl have an incredible singing voice or any talent which could be exploited Michael would be camped out on her doorstep.

Instead, he just exchanges letters with the girl and probably sends updates on Lindsay and Ali and really tries to make the girl feel completely inadequate.

Lets see. Ali is 14 so Michael went out and got the woman pregnant and then came back and said, “what the hell,” and got Dina pregnant again.

OK! claims they have copies of letters he has written to the girl but they didn’t release any of them. As much as I would love to see the letters I actually am glad that OK! decided not to release them. As much as I dislike Michael and this won’t improve matters any, I do think the letters should remain private.

I’m also surprised Dina hasn’t tried to contact the girl and get her on the show because as I wrote earlier, they need something on that show that is new and exciting because Dina is neither. Oh, I’m sure she has body parts that are new, and she probably has new boyfriends and new ways to get drunk each week, but nothing like this.

I guess Lindsay better start getting more work so Michael can start paying some of his daughter’s bills.

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Ali Lohan may be hooking up with a troll.

The E! reality star is director John Carl Buechler’s top choice for a lead role in the big-budget remake of his 1986 camp classic, Troll.

Lindsay’s little sister auditioned last week for the role of the young Eunice St. Clair, who helps Harry Potter Jr. (no relation whatsoever to J.K. Rowling’s gazillion-dollar creation of the same name) fight the evil Torok the Troll.

“She was great,” Buechler tells me. “The camera loves her. She’s a really good actress…I am personally going to fight for her.”

Buechler says the $25 million remake is being financed independently: “It’s a retelling of the original story with some twists.”

The original featured Sonny Bono, June Lockhart and marked the feature-film debut of Julia Louis-Dreyfus.

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I Know Who Killed Me star Lindsay Lohan attempted to have a relaxing Sunday afternoon poolside at the Roosevelt Hotel but found herself consistently interrupted. If it wasn’t emotional friend Samantha Ronson blowin’ up her Blackberry, it was Lohan’s hanger-ons asking to borrow her room key so they to get their other friends into the exclusive hotel pool area. Lohan appeared to be frustrated by the behavior of friends and told him that she wanted to be a happy spot before she starts work. Lohan was overheard to have said, “Let me mellow out for a minute, okay? If this movie doesn’t go well, then I don’t know where the next one is going to come from and I don’t know how I’m going to pay for everybody to hang out all day. I mean, make yourself useful, get me a Diet Coke Zero.”

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Insiders told Page Six that Lohan and OK! are in talks to do a cover where Lohan “comes out” about her relationship with gal pal Samantha Ronson, and the mag has offered her “around $1 million to do the cover.” One source said, “Lindsay really wants this to happen and she needs the money.” Lohan’s rep denies there’s a deal, however, saying, “They sent offers and we passed.” OK! said, “We don’t comment on future editorial.”

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Ali With Mom Dina And Brother Cody Lohan

Dad of the year, Michael Lohan, father of Lindsay is cashing in on his ex-wife Dina’s new reality television show Living Lohan, by signing a magazine deal to air his views about the new program in a weekly column.The Television show follows manager and mother Dina, as she steers the careers of daughter Ali, 14 and her son Cody, 11. The show premiered on E! network over the weekend. And Michael Lohan, who has opposed the show since its inception, is making sure his rantings are heard in his column for OK! magazine. In the first installment of Michael’s writings, he lashes out at ex-wife Dina and admits that he is “concerned” by what he has seen so far of her parenting ethics. But he is refusing to go into much detail just now. He says, “Well, let’s see… If I were to look at things from a worldly perspective, I would probably have a lot to say about exploitation, hypocrisy and even deception - and maybe at a later date, I might just do so.”I’ve had a sneak peek at some future episodes and I will say that some of the people Dina surrounds the kids with still concerns me - again, I can address that when they appear on the show.” Michael, who served time in prison in 2005 after being found guilty of driving under the influence and other charges, also urges Dina to set a positive example to their kids. He adds, “If this show is about the being a mother and a manager, the most important thing is to set a good example by instilling positive values, and doing what’s right for the kids’ sake. Not for our own!”

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With last night’s premiere of Living Lohan, the new reality show about Lindsay Lohan’s infamous mother Dina Lohan and younger sister Ali, OK! asked the actress’ father Michael Lohan to give his unique insight in a running, weekly commentary.

EPISODE 1: “Mommy Will Fix It”, MAY 26, 2008

Soooooo, you want a comment on the first episode of Living Lohan?

Well, let’s see… If I were to look at things from a wordly perspective, I would probably have a lot to say about exploitation, hypocrisy and even deception — and maybe at a later date, I might just do so.

For now, let’s just say I’m still trying to figure out if this show is about managing Ali’s career and being a “real” mother, or reading tabloids.

I’ve had a sneak peek at some future episodes and I will say that some of the people Dina surrounds the kids with still concerns me — again, I can address that when they appear on the show. I just hope Dina takes the high road — like a Lohan would — and rights these wrongs.

If this show is about the being a mother and a manager, the most important thing is to set a good example by instilling positive values, and doing what’s right for the kid’s sake. Not for our own!

I wish Ali, Cody and Dina the best on the show and pray that they get what they want out of it.

-Michael

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Rumored licker Lindsay Lohan has once again been forced to deny she is a lesbian after she was photographed apparently kissing her very close friend Samantha Ronson. The alleged couple, who have kept gossips guessing about the nature of their very close relationship for the last six months, were seen repeatedly embracing and cuddling up to one another at a party on rapper Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs’ yacht in Cannes, France during the early hours of Friday morning. A source tells Britain’s Daily Mirror newspaper, “Lindsay and Sam may insist they’re just good friends, but there’s no denying their chemistry. They were holding hands quite openly and Sam was stroking Lindsay’s wrist really affectionately.”After partying on the main deck, they went downstairs to the chill-out floor. Escorted by five security men, who had formed a ‘do not disturb’ ring around them, it looked like they were snogging (kissing) each other’s faces off.” But Leslie Sloane, the actress’ spokesperson, has refuted claims the pair’s relationship is more than platonic, telling CelebTV.com: “They are close friends.”

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Wild and fun, Dina Lohan has banned her rehab star daughter Lindsay from making an appearance on her upcoming reality television show, because she insists it would be bad for her career. Dina will front the upcoming eight-episode series “Living Lohan,” which will follow the manager-mom as she handles the careers of her two younger children, Ali, 14, and Cody, 11. But fans of her former star daughter need not tune in, hoping to catch a glimpse of the actress. Lindsay will not be appearing. Dina says, “I told Lindsay I don’t want her on the show right now. Doing reality TV would almost be taking a step backward as far as her career.” Lindsay’s father, Michael Lohan, has previously warned the Lindsay to stay away from her mother’s reality show, fearing Dina would use the 21-year-old to further her own career in the entertainment industry. But Lohan’s mother insists her intentions are genuine: “I did this to defuse the rumors about my family. The media has just been so horrific to us over the past two years. I just want to get the message across that we are a normal family.” The new reality show will premiere this weekend.

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Two years ago, Dina Lohan says, she never would have done a reality show. Yet now she is opening up her life with Living Lohan, a reality series with daughter Ali, 14.

The show, filmed inside the Lohan home on Long Island, premieres May 26 on E! and centers on Ali pursuing her dream to become a singer and Dina managing her career, just as she does for her other daughter, Lindsay, 21.

“What’s opened up now is not our life. It’s rumors and it’s tabloidism,” Dina says with Ali sitting beside her in a suite at the Waldorf-Astoria. “My back as a single mom was against the wall. … We have the power to set the record straight. With all the Internet, YouTube and all the silliness out there, I think it’s time for (me) as a mother to protect my kids and just say, ‘This is who we are.’ ”

Lindsay has had her share of problems, including stints in rehab. Does Dina believe she has protected her well, and will she do anything differently with Ali?

“You don’t have children and have a rule book,” Dina says. “Lindsay, whether she were in the business or not, fortunately or unfortunately made — we’re all going to make mistakes. I think Ali, too. God willing she’ll learn from what I instill in her and what her sister teaches her.”

One thing she has instilled: animosity toward tabloids.

Ali says: “When the tabloids say something bad, it makes us stronger as a family because we stick together. So keep it coming, guys.”

“Oh no,” her mother says.

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