False eyelashes are not your friend. Just ask Brooke Shields and Debi Mazar, who instead now use Latisse — an FDA-approved treatment that enhances and lengthens eyelashes.

“I was driving once with my best friend — this was when I was in my 20s,” former “Lipstick Jungle” star Shields told us. “I remember ripping my faux eyelashes off because they were driving me crazy, and sticking them under her dashboard.”

It seemed like a good idea — until a week later, when Shields got a call from her pal.

“She said, ‘Um, Brooke? I found your fake eyelashes stuck under my dashboard — why the hell did you put them there?’” says the star. “I was so embarrassed!

But then she goes, ‘And then I decided to put them on, so I’m wearing them today!’ I was hysterical. How gross, right? I used to use so much glue to keep those things on.”

“Entourage” star Mazar had her own bad experience with falsies, too. “It was the second time I had ever made love to my boyfriend — who’s now my husband — and he had no idea what false eyelashes were because he’s a Tuscan farmer,” she recalled. “It was a hot summer day and after everything was over and we were chilling out, he was like ‘Debi, what’s that on your face?’ And it was my eyelash!”

At least both stories had a happy ending — apparently, best friends and Tuscan farmers take beauty mishaps in stride.

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Matt Lauer looks pretty darn good for a guy who recently went head to head with a deer.

The “Today” show hostarrived at the Forces of Nature benefit with his arm in a sling — courtesy of a doe who collided with his bicycle — but was still in high spirits. “I’m among the living,” he told us. “ I’m a little banged up, but I’ll be okay.”

And what about Bambi? “The deer never wrote and never called,” he said. “It’s funny — they’re all around my house, but I’ve never even had a close call in a car, let alone on a bicycle.”

Lauer’s wounded wing does set him back in the morning hours, though. “I get up at 4 a.m., and getting dressed now is really hard. That early, it’s not the time you wake up your family to help put your socks on.”

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Jennifer Lopez is ready for kids again … just as soon as she’s sure her marriage is stable.

Although J.Lo isn’t currently pregnant (we caught her sipping a glass of Champagne at Topshop’s opening), the megastar is gearing up to expand her brood. “I could talk for a year about my kids,” she said afterward at the dinner at Balthazar, adding that the best thing about being a mom is “everything!”

Hubby Marc Anthony was more vocal about his desire to have a larger family right away. “I hope [we have more kids on the way] soon!” he told us, earning an enthusiastic nod from his wife of nearly five years.

The couple appears to be in perfect harmony. During Wednesday night’s fete, the two even chorused to Jennifer Hudson’s “I Love You I Do.” But insiders say that despite outward appearances, Lopez is desperately trying to save her marriage.

“Jennifer is determined to make it work with Marc,” a source close to the couple confides. “But these two have serious, serious issues. Jennifer feels like Marc is holding her career back, and she was sick of his social butterfly mentality while she stayed at home with the twins. There are times when she’s had it, and close to ending it. She’ll throw down her ring and say, ‘That’s it.’ But when Marc realizes he’s about to lose her, he comes right back to Mommy. She enhances his life — she’s a huge star and good for him, and he does love her. And really, all their fighting makes for some fiery passion in the bedroom.”

And while J.Lo has always wanted a big family, she isn’t ready to make that commitment until she’s certain she and Marc will last.

“She wants to make sure her marriage is secure before she has more kids,” says the pal. “Jennifer needs to ascertain that Marc will assume his half of the parental responsibility.

“She will never give up the red carpet, and certainly doesn’t want to be barefoot and pregnant, locked down or locked up. She wants to give [1-year-olds Max and Emme] siblings, but she loves the attention of the spotlight. She does not want to be a stay-at-home mom.”

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THEY’VE both dished on their marriage in tell-all books — which explains why Jane Fonda (above) and Ted Turner have remained such pals. Tuesday night, Turner was spotted entering the Eugene O’Neill Theater, where Fonda is starring in “33 Variations.” Our spy said, “Ted looked really excited, more excited than most people act when they’re seeing their ex-wives.” Fonda herself blogged: “It was fun to see Ted . . . He’s so funny and sweet. It makes me happy that we still have feelings for each other — although I couldn’t go back to being the wife or even mistress again.”

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A judge has rejected Madonna’s request to adopt a second child from Malawi because of a requirement that prospective parents live in the southern African nation for at least 18 months, another judge and a lawyer said Friday.

The judge who confirmed the decision did not make the ruling, but saw it. The lawyer was present when the ruling was made. Both spoke on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to discuss the case.

Madonna’s efforts to adopt 3-year-old Chifundo “Mercy” James had drawn criticism from some activists who said the little girl would be best off with relatives.

The 50-year-old pop superstar, who was not in court on Friday, can appeal the ruling to Malawi’s Supreme Court. There was no immediate comment from Madonna’s spokeswoman in New York.

The residency rule was waived in 2006, when Madonna was allowed to take her adopted son, David, to London before his adoption was finalized in 2008. It was not clear why Judge Esme Chombo ruled differently Friday. Another judge had handled Madonna’s previous adoption case.

However, when Madonna adopted David, she was still married to British film director Guy Ritchie. Their divorce became finalized earlier this year, and she was adopting Mercy as a single mother.

In court papers made public Friday, Madonna said Chifundo’s grandmother was unable to care for her. She promised to make Mercy a permanent part of her family and spare her the “hardship and emotional trauma” of life as an orphan.

The girl’s mother, according to the affidavit, died at age 14 just days after her baby was born Jan. 22, 2006. There was no mention of the father in the affidavit. The mother’s brother is listed as having consented to the adoption.

“I am able and willing to securely provide for Chifundo James and make her a permanent and established member of my family,” Madonna said. “To deny Chifundo James the opportunity to be adopted by me could expose her to hardship and emotional trauma which is otherwise avoidable.”

Malawi’s child welfare minister had endorsed Madonna’s adoption application.

“We have close to 2 million orphans in Malawi who need help,” Women and Child Welfare Development Minister Anna Kachikho told The Associated Press. “We can’t look after all of them as a country. If people like Madonna adopt even one such orphan, it’s one mouth less we have to feed.”

Orphans usually are taken in by their extended families in Africa, but AIDS and other diseases have taken a toll on those who might have traditionally provided support. In villages across the continent, frail elderly grandmothers do their best to care for children, but many end up in orphanages or on the streets.

The United Nations estimates 18 million African children will have lost a parent to AIDS by 2010.

Critics accused Madonna of using her fame and money to fast-track the adoption process, but the singer said she had followed standard procedures. She faced similar allegations in 2006 when she brought home David, who is now 3.

A coalition of non-governmental organizations called the Human Rights Consultative Committee had criticized Madonna’s adoption attempts, saying that adoption should be the last resort and that children need to be taken care of by their own family.

“Mercy James is a child who has her extended close family members alive and we urge Madonna to assist the child from right here,” the coalition said earlier this week.

Yet others from Malawi had applauded Madonna, saying the adoption would give Mercy enormous opportunities that she would be unable to achieve in the impoverished country, where 14 percent of adults are infected with the virus that causes AIDS.

Madonna first traveled to Malawi in 2006 while filming a documentary on the devastating poverty and AIDS crisis. On this trip, she has been accompanied by her three children: 3-year-old David, 12-year-old daughter Lourdes and 8-year-old son Rocco.

The four have visited an orphanage where David once lived and David also saw his biological father for the first time since he left Malawi in 2006.

Madonna and Lourdes also visited a village in Malawi this week and looked over plans to build a new school there. The singer has several charity projects in Malawi.

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In an interview with teen pop sensation Miley Cyrus Thursday, Ryan poked fun at her 20 year-old boyfriend Justin Gaston.

“Did Justin get permission to date you?” asked Ryan. “Yeah, well actually my dad introduced us” Miley quickly responded.

When asked if she thinks she’ll marry Justin Gaston, Miley slyly replied, “If he gets a pretty ring.”

Miley also admitted to briefly dating co-star Lucas Till prior to dating Justin Gaston.

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Instead of taking her children to dinner or to a movie, Dina Lohan decided to take her eldest daughter and her 15 year old daughter Ali to Villa nightclub last week. Dina was shocked that the club would not allow Ali to enter the club. I mean she is Ali Lohan. Why would things like laws apply to her? Dina did the whole do you know who I am thing, but, come on it’s Dina Lohan. What security guy cares what she thinks or does. What is she going to do? No one listens to her and she can’t really go to the cops and complain that the club decided to follow the law.

What kind of mom takes a 15 year old to a club? Well, I guess in a sense she is better than Taylor Momsen’s mom who just lets her 15 year old go to clubs by herself. At least Dina would have been there to chaperon Ali as she danced with guys in their 30’s and Dina danced with guys in their 20’s and the eldest daughter screamed into her cell phone while showing off her fake tan.

To me, just thinking that it is a good idea to take your 15 year old to a night club should get your kid taken away. Ali is a minor. Where was Cody while all of this was going on? Another minor he was probably back in New York going to school and living with grandma because he can’t contribute any money to the Dina Lohan doesn’t want to get a real job fund. Is Ali even going to school? If she is being home schooled it is not by Dina because that would be against the law unless Dina has a teaching credential. My guess is that Ali just sits in her room all day and listens to her older sister and Sam yelling and fighting while Dina makes plans for them to go find guys together.

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A police officer in Loxley Alabama had an encounter with Robert O’ Ryan who is the man arrested for allegedly stalking Dancing With The Stars contestant Shawn Johnson. O’Ryan was pulled over on his way to California for driving with expired tags on his license plate. He was also given a ticket for driving without insurance. During the police stop, a dashboard camera in the police car captured the entire sequence of events.

I understand the police can’t know everything and we are second guessing which is much easier, but here is the conversation they had, and you tell me what should have been done.

The policeman asked O’Ryan where he was heading. “California,” replied O’Ryan who went on to say he was meeting a friend. “Who is she,” asked the officer. “Shawn Johnson,” mumbled O’Ryan. “She’s an Olympic gymnast. She’s on TV now.”

During the 29 minute stop, O’Ryan talked about Johnson at least three times, and when asked if he’d ever spoken to her personally, he said only in his dreams.

He also said that he was going to marry her. OK, see to me that is a red flag. You have a guy driving on expired tags in Alabama talking about marrying a woman he has seen only on television and never spoken to personally. At what point if you are the policeman do you start asking more detailed questions? I mean in 29 minutes he kept bringing her name up repeatedly, and each time was more bizarre. Again, I know we are second guessing and that policeman had no way of knowing the guy was going to buy some guns and duct tape and get her to marry him that way. The policeman also has much more experience dealing with people he has pulled over and it was 29 minutes, so he was being very careful.

The policeman didn’t know who Shawn Johnson was and maybe he thought the guy was just trying to impress the cop. I do know that if O’Ryan had been successful with his kidnap plot or marriage proposal or whatever he is calling it, this tape would have been much more than just a curiosity thing.

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