Did you know that being with a shirt Church of Scientology member can lead you down a path of drugs, back pain, various trips to rehab, no career, and getting drunk with Oasis and Marilyn Manson? Apparently it can. Noel Gallagher has been relating a story lately about how one night he and his brother got trashed last year on absinthe with Marilyn Manson and Jeff Conaway.Turns out that Noel is a huge fan of Celebrity Rehab. Who would have thought he was sitting at home watching reality television. Anyway, Noel and Liam and Jeff are getting drunk and Noel starts making fun of Jeff’s cane. He asks Jeff why he is using it, and Jeff said ‘My back’s f**ked. F**king John Travolta in ‘Grease’ - he’s so f**king short, they made me stoop over and that’s when I invented the famous Kenickie walk!’

The stoop led to horrible back pain which led to pain killers which on and on and on until we have him where he is today. I don’t know why John Travolta doesn’t lay hands on him or maybe he has which probably would take us down an entirely different path. Anyway, Katie Holmes, you need to protect yourself now. What I suggest is that you get yourself a wheelchair or buy Tom some extra large lifts for his shoes. Not just two or three inch things like he uses now, but some big ones. Some kind of built in stilts. Buy him some platform boots or find some in his closet and then just throw some stilts in there.

I can’t handle seeing you on Celebrity Rehab in the future or Celebrity Fit Club or I Used To Be A Celebrity or whatever show they have in the future for drug addled, out of work celebrities with back problems.

(source)

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