Chris Martin attacks photographer
Chris Martin assaults photographer (1/15)

While leaving a New York City hospital with his wife Gwyneth Paltrow on Monday,* Chris Martin (Coldpay vocalist) attacked a paparazzo and tried to steal his camera. Damn, I didn’t know this guy had it in him. Have you ever listened to his band? I can actually feel my penis turning into a vagina when their songs come on. It’s really something. Did you know instead of drumsticks, their drummer actually uses hardened tampons so it doesn’t get too “loudish”.

*Paltrow cracked a smile for the first time in five years Sunday night so Martin — fearing for his wife’s health — had her immediately hospitalized.

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